Comic Poems and Limericks by A.L. Glaze
Time-Travel
Once a savant who’d won many grants,
fell studiously into a trance.
He encountered time travel,
And squelching all cavil,
lived his next after-life in advance.
Locale Limerick
A Frenchman once born in Toulouse,
was changed by a witch to a goose.
He migrates in the fall,
sporting French caws and all,
and a flight path absurdly abstruse.
You’re Never With Who You Want To Be
You’re never with who you want to be
so stand up and take your pill.
While Jill Hathaway was making’ hay,
her sister was making Will.
And Josephine loved a financier
while Bonaparte loved a Pole.
You’re never with who you want to be
you’ve got to play a role.
When Plato came home to Mrs. Plato
she smiled at him so coy.
She might have saved herself the trouble
he much preferred a boy.
While Romeo waited for Juliet
she’s engaged to another man.
You’re never with who you want to be,
it’s part of nature’s plan.
When Antony died, he called for Cleo
while making his dying gasp,
but she’s up in a tower taking her ease
and lying down with an asp.
While Caesar was up in Gaul with his troop,
dividing it with his life,
three men in Rome were drawing straws
dividing up Caesar’s wife.
The time will come when you’ve left your Frankie
and run off with Nellie Bly, but while you’re embracing’
her eye will light
on someone passing by.
So as you lead the parade of life
the band plays just one tune.
You’re going to be with the one you want
when Christmas comes in June.
© 2015, by Andrew Glaze
All three poems previously appeared in Light magazine.
“You’re Never With Who You Want To Be” was also published in Overheard In A Drugstore.
Only those who knew my father in person, know that he was a steady source of witty comments, puns, limericks, comic phrases, and dry humor. I haven’t included it here, but another of his longer poems imagines Ophelia, from Hamlet, floating down the river, singing a Country & Western song about her life. In the last twenty years of his life many of his comic poems were published in a periodical called, “Light, a Quarterly of Light Verse”.
—E. Glaze
Andrew Glaze Poetry 